Not Me Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

So we all have things that are a little (or a lot) embarrassing, but Not Me! I am the perfect first time mom!(NOT!) This picture was NOT taken weeks ago when Kaylee was not even a week old. It has NOT taken me this long to muster up the guts to “Not Me” about it. The memory blanket give away on MckMama’s blog did NOT have anything to do with me posting this un-embarrassing picture.

Here is the story:

When we were dismissed from the hospital with our first baby girl Kaylee Marie on a Friday, I was NOT worried about how to breastfeed and if everything would work out okay. I was totally cool with the fact that the Lactation Consultant at the hospital could not meet with me in the hospital due to a fall. I did NOT worry so much that I became engorged but experienced no let down due to my stress. Kaylee did NOT loose a full pound due to this and she was peeing and pooping just like all the Breastfeeding manuals said she needed to be. I did NOT have Jon, my husband, call the doctor on a Sunday to insist that someone see my baby NOW while I cried in the background.

When we got to the Dr.’s office I did NOT cry in front of the Doctor, that would be embarrassing and as I mentioned before.. that’s NOT ME! When she told me that my baby was okay and to pump into a bottle and give it to her after feeding her, I did NOT sigh in relief! She also did NOT tell my husband and I that the disposable diapers we were using were ultra absorbent and to leave them off so we could tell if she was going to the bathroom. Even if she had, us perfect first time parents would NOT have listened to this advice. That’s why when we got home we did NOT leave her diaper off and wrap her up in her kidapotamus blanket. Jon was NOT holding her after I just nursed her and decided to go to the bathroom. Just as I sat on the toilet I did NOT hear, “OOOOHHHHH MAN!!!!!!!!!!!! KAAAATIE……” My heart did NOT jump into my throat thinking something was awfully wrong. When Jon brought her to me I did NOT laugh and say we have to get a picture of this. When Jon brought the camera in and started to take a picture of the poopy mess she DID NOT START TO PEE ON ME!!!!! I would NEVER make a face like this when holding my four day old baby girl!

I am NOT secretly hoping no one but MckMama reads this so that I have a chance to win that blanket!!!! Here’s hoping!